A year I’m not ready to forget

We noticed our Christmas tree was dead, dangerously dead, on December 20. Five days to go and we were unplugging the lights. I’ll take the blame. I’m the only person that waters the tree and I’ve done it plenty this year, but I’m also the person who started the small fire in our oven we … Continue reading A year I’m not ready to forget

June 16th (to Livy)

Six weeks ago we ended up in the hospital in the middle of the night because I couldn’t feel you move – nothing I tried would stir you and I was terrified. We’d passed the pregnancy finish line. You were three days late and counting, but I still couldn’t believe you were really going to … Continue reading June 16th (to Livy)

Pregnancy, pandemics, loss and hope

I haven’t sat down to write this yet, because it feels like I shouldn’t. Not that I shouldn’t have the feelings I do, but that I shouldn’t admit that it’s not entirely easy – that my overwhelming joy of being six weeks from meeting our child is sometimes overshadowed by the grief of what we’ve … Continue reading Pregnancy, pandemics, loss and hope

I keep trying to sit down to write an update on this experience, but it’s hard to know how to write about it without sounding terribly sad. That’s been my excuse for not writing, but not writing isn’t helping me to feel any better and even if no one on earth sees this but me, … Continue reading

April 11

April 11. Four years ago today, Russ tied a dozen or so notes we’d written each other and strings of lights to the trees by the creek at my mom and dad’s farm and got down on one knee and asked me, in the sweetest way, to marry him. As obnoxious as it sounds, I’d … Continue reading April 11