me vs. huffington post

 Huffington Post asked for reader input on things you should never say to a tall woman. This is just the latest in a series they appear to be doing called “Things You Should Never Say To A (__insert adjective__) Woman”. I find these posts a bit lazy and very annoying. I’m 6’1” so I’m going to snarkily respond to this one. The list is below. My  comments are italicized:

 “It must be hard to find a man who’s comfortable with your height.” Oh, come on. It’s not hard to find a MAN who is comfortable with something. BOYS are uncomfortable with crazy things like that, men have real world problems to handle.

“You have long feet.” Uhhh duh. That’s so I can stand upright. 

“I wish I was as tall as you.” But you’re not and that’s cool because it’d be weird if we were all the same height.

“You must have played basketball in high school!” I get this one all the time. It never makes me mad. It’s just weird that everyone thinks he or she is the first person to say it. 

“Good luck finding a husband!” What? Nobody says that. This is insane. Who made this list?

How TALL are you?!?!” Okay, i joke a lot about this one on twitter because I often have people stop me on the street to tell me how tall I am or try to guess. It’s uncomfortable when they’re way off, but asking how tall I am is far from rude. That’s just people being curious little people. Whatever, get over it. 

“Have you always been this tallYes. I was born this way…??? Is this a real list?

“You shouldn’t wear heels.” Two things: 1) I don’t need someone to convince me I don’t have to wear heels. They’re hella uncomfortable. 2) I don’t take fashion advice from anyone… anytime. This is why sometimes I end up wearing Air Force Ones to a bachelorette weekend or Jorts out on the town, but I’m me and I’m stubborn… so save your breath.

Being petite is so much harder than being tall.” Because you can’t see over my head at concerts? I truly am sorry about that.

“Do you play volleyball?” like, ever? sure! Sometimes I even play with short people because have you seen ‘Top Gun’? Tom Cruise was pretty good at volleyball. But I never play in jeans on a beach like Tom because that is unacceptable no matter your height. 

‘You’re an Amazon.” Alright. You have me on this one. This is incredibly rude. Maybe don’t say this… ever.

“Could you grab that for me?” Sure! No problem!

You could be a model… you know, height-wise…” Only half of this is ever actually said to anyone because you’d have to be a real A-hole to add the clarification, but if someone says the whole phrase maybe just pretend you only heard the first half. Glass half-full – keep on the sunny side – etc. etc.

“You must have trouble finding nice clothes.” Everybody has trouble finding nice clothes. Have you ever been shopping with a woman? It’s an ordeal. 

“When are you going to stop growing?” About 5 years ago

“I’d date you if you were shorter.” HaHaHa this is just a negative spin on the classics “If I were taller would you date me?” and a rather inappropriate and unoriginal line involving the word “horizontal”  

 

In short (no pun intended), Huffington Post Women, these articles are weak. Please stop. These are wasting space you could devote to some piece about the latest research in gender equality or whatever other great things you do. I’m not interested in long lists of things people should not be allowed to say to me. I’d rather just laugh about the things that make me different. It’s a lot more fun.

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