my super sweet 16

This morning I made chocolate chip pancakes, coffee, and turned on my tv. I didn’t feel like watching gameday hype of FSU – Miami so I scrolled through the channel guide and found this gem: ‘My Super Sweet 16: Blingest Bash Countdown’. It’s MTV’s shameless repurposing of episodes from a show that aired regularly 10 years ago. I used to watch ‘My Super Sweet 16’ around the time I was 16. If you’ve never seen the show, the concept is ridiculous. They follow rich soon-to-be 16 year olds as they plan absurdly large parties to celebrate themselves. There are recurring themes: these kids have access to too much money; these kids have parents with little-to-no control over the situation; these kids think they’re going to be famous and this party is the best way to get the ball rolling.

Right now there is a kid on my screen who is having a casual chat with Puff Daddy/P.Diddy/Diddy/Sean “puffy” Combs/whatever he was called in 2004 about his party. Celebrity name dropping is another recurring theme. My favorite is when the celebrity they name drop is only mildly famous (Bubba Sparxxx).

Anyway, It’s been about 10 years since this show was at its peak. That means most of the kids on this show are my age — somewhere around 26. I’d kill for the opportunity to sit down with a few of them and ask some questions, like:

1) It’s been 10 years since “the most important night of my life”. Was it really the best thing that’s ever happened to you? Has nothing better happened in a decade since? How does that feel?

2) You’re 26 and still not famous. Is that okay? Is that what you expected? How does it feel?

3) Are your parents still rich or did you clean them out with your $200,000 party plans?

4) Did you wreck that C-Class Mercedes?

5) Does everyone from your party know your family friend Bubba Sparxxx performed with you at your party because YOU PAID HIM $15,000?

6) Do you still talk to Bubba Sparxxx?

7) Were the costume changes really necessary? How much of your party did you miss while you were changing from one $8,000 dress to the next one?

A decade ago I loved this show. MTV’s reality television was my entertainment of choice. I followed Ashlee Simpson through the making of her first album. I watched Nick Lachey laugh at all of Jessica Simpson’s dumb comments – “Is this chicken, what I have, or is it fish? It says chicken of the sea.” I was definitely Team LC through all of season one of Laguna Beach. I loved MTV. I take part of the blame for the fact that shows like this still exist… because I supported their early counterparts. Now all I want is to know how the 15 minutes of MTV teenage fame worked out for those kids. I want to know if they’re okay going through the rest of their lives with “My Sweet 16 party was part of a half-hour show on MTV in 2004” as their best conversation starter.

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