things i wouldn’t trade

Kim Kardashian did what Kim Kardashian does and showed off her very large rear end this week. She posed for naked pictures printed in some magazine none of us had heard of until Kim graced its pages. I’m not going to go into whether I think Kim’s posing nude is right or wrong, or what I think it does for society. Frankly, who really cares what I think about her decision? Certainly not Kim herself.

All I know is I’m glad she did it, on a personal level. I’m glad because now I know, once and for all, that I would not willingly trade my body for Kim Kardashian’s. This is not a criticism, or a comment on whether her body is perfect enough. I just now know I wouldn’t want to have to try to fit those curves into clothes. I mean, if Kim’s body wasn’t photoshopped in those photos, then I really hope she is getting her clothes custom made, because those lines are not what we’d call “common”.

Kim Kardashian is famous for sexualization of self. She got her big break off a sex tape, and continues to stay relevant by showing off her body. I don’t necessarily like what this says about our society, but the truth is she’s not the only person who became a household name in this way. There are scores of women who probably never would’ve been known had they not had their perfectly symmetrical faces, or large breasts. This is what we value, and Kim knows better than anyone else how to feed the beast.

So… and I’m making assumptions here… she waits until some magazine that needs instant notoriety asks her to show off her famous assets on its glossy pages. She takes a refrain from those so-called butt selfies for an afternoon to let someone else photograph her behind. They grease it up, make it as shiny as possible, then turn it into the center focus of a three page spread.

Kim doesn’t get paid for the photos, per se. She just makes money off the rest of society who wants a piece. People buy her clothes, her fragrances, her app. They watch her on television. They buy her husband’s albums. Kim laughs all the way to the bank.

Hey, more power to you, Kim. If you’ve got it, flaunt it, or whatever they say… And Thank you. Thank you because the next time I’m in a dressing room fussing about how none of the pants are long enough, I’m going to remember those photos. I’m going to remind myself to thank the good lord that my biggest problem is being a little too lanky for these jeans.

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