April 11. Four years ago today, Russ tied a dozen or so notes we'd written each other and strings of lights to the trees by the creek at my mom and dad's farm and got down on one knee and asked me, in the sweetest way, to marry him. As obnoxious as it sounds, I'd... Continue Reading →
To you
This one is to you – you who sent us flowers and gifts right after our procedures last summer you who've made us warm meals on down days you who brought over pizza and beer when we just needed time with friends you who mailed us books about coping after miscarriage you who didn't ask... Continue Reading →
To 2019
I don't have much positive to say about 2018, but my hope is that in the years ahead, we'll look back and see the lessons we learned and they'll be valuable. One lesson I'm already learning is how important it is to take care of yourself. I'm not sure I fully understood self-care as a... Continue Reading →
We tried again and it didn’t work
When we bought our house, it came with a swing set. We didn't expect the previous owners to leave it, but I found it kind of charming when I got to the house on closing day. We were, after all, already trying to start a family. I could picture our kids swinging and sliding a... Continue Reading →
We’ll always love our first baby.
Since the beginning of this process, I've committed to sharing the ups and downs right here. This is raw, real and may be tough to read. There are two other drafts of blog posts I wish I was sharing with you. One about the day we found out I was pregnant. One of a miscarriage... Continue Reading →
Hormones, people. Ugh.
When I started the medications for the retrieval part of the IVF process my brother joked that I was going to be a bit of an emotional challenge. It's not an off-the-wall prediction to say that pumping extra hormones into your body might make your brain react in weird ways. I actually braced myself for... Continue Reading →
I just found this in a drawer
I just found this in a drawer. I'd forgotten i bought it. Last July we briefly thought I was pregnant, thanks to either a faulty test or a chemical pregnancy. That week I went out and bought this book for our future son or daughter. I still can't wait to introduce our kids to my... Continue Reading →
Results (so far)
I can’t even tell you how many 400 meter hurdle races I’ve run in my life, but there’s a very distinct pattern to the emotion of my favorite race. Like every track event it starts with the adrenaline at the starting line, a burst of energy or even a chill as you place your feet... Continue Reading →
details
This is a look at my meds through phase one of the process. One shot and three pills in the mornings. Two shots and one pill at night. The box full of meds still waiting for after the egg retrieval is daunting, but I'll face that when it gets here. The morning shot is the... Continue Reading →
Update
A few years ago when Russ and I were newly engaged we spent Record Store Day in late April going from store to store in Greenville picking up records. I couldn't tell you how many we bought that day, but there was a stack of three or four we were given for free. They were... Continue Reading →
Fertility stuff: Update 3
Russ and I are both that type of big baby grown-ups who can't handle needles. Do we have tattoos? No. Is it because we don't think they're cool? Nah. It's because I'm the kind of person who feels queasy at the idea of a needle touching skin and Russ is the kind of person whose... Continue Reading →
Fertility stuff: Update 1
If this seems like it's out of left field, you might've missed my last post. This is an update. We had an appointment today to get the process started and we both left smiling. Seriously! After having a few weeks to process what is ahead and realizing that we are emotionally equipped to handle it,... Continue Reading →
So here’s the thing
Take a deep breath and ask yourself if you're cool with reading something very personal before you read this. This is going to get kind of science-y -- think body parts, reproduction and things you probably should've been taught in health class. Some people may read it and think "I would never put my business... Continue Reading →
