April 11

April 11. Four years ago today, Russ tied a dozen or so notes we’d written each other and strings of lights to the trees by the creek at my mom and dad’s farm and got down on one knee and asked me, in the sweetest way, to marry him. As obnoxious as it sounds, I’dContinue reading “April 11”

Hormones, people. Ugh.

When I started the medications for the retrieval part of the IVF process my brother joked that I was going to be a bit of an emotional challenge. It’s not an off-the-wall prediction to say that pumping extra hormones into your body might make your brain react in weird ways. I actually braced myself forContinue reading “Hormones, people. Ugh.”

Results (so far)

I can’t even tell you how many 400 meter hurdle races I’ve run in my life, but there’s a very distinct pattern to the emotion of my favorite race. Like every track event it starts with the adrenaline at the starting line, a burst of energy or even a chill as you place your feetContinue reading “Results (so far)”

details

This is a look at my meds through phase one of the process. One shot and three pills in the mornings. Two shots and one pill at night. The box full of meds still waiting for after the egg retrieval is daunting, but I’ll face that when it gets here. The morning shot is theContinue reading “details”

I can do this!

  I did it. I survived my first night of giving myself shots and I didn’t even panic. I felt fine about it all day and there was a brief moment right before when I had to pause and just say aloud “this seemed less terrifying before I actually had to do it.” Then, dressedContinue reading “I can do this!”

Not ready for exposure

Last Friday I fell while running. I got pretty banged up and had a few bruises, but the heel of my hands took the brunt of my fall. I cut layers so deep into my hands that tiny veins could be seen pulsing under the open white skin. Even now, five days later, it seems littleContinue reading “Not ready for exposure”

The peace rally that was

Tonight I went to a Black Lives Matter peace rally in Greenville. Less than 24 hours after a peaceful BLM rally was interrupted by a shooting that left five cops dead, I went to my first BLM rally. Peace they promised and peace they delivered. I have many words in my mind that I wantContinue reading “The peace rally that was”

Pickens County

It’s hard when I’m on a trail not to look around and think of who’s been there before. I look up the hill beside me and imagine how the natives might’ve run criss-cross paths through the trees. This was their land long before anyone carved out trails and nailed markers to tree trunks. I imagine howContinue reading “Pickens County”

Just a technicality

So I did this little thing that, lord knows, Elizabeth Wren Sanders at many different ages probably thought would never happen. I said yes to loving someone forever. These are funny things, proposals. If done correctly then you already know you’re in it forever and saying yes is just a technicality. Regardless, what a thrill.Continue reading “Just a technicality”

a sort of love letter to the upstate

One day last year I was pushing a cart down the grocery aisle at my local target store when I turned the corner and ran into my older sister. I was surprised to see her on my side of town on a random weeknight, but loved the little moment of running into her at one ofContinue reading “a sort of love letter to the upstate”